If you're a pray-er...

wanna pray for me?

I just noticed that it's June.

Historically (of late) June has been emotional for me.

In June 2010 I faced a due date that came and went on the 10th. I prayed and begged that I would go into labor on my own. But I didn't. And two weeks later I was induced. And we ended in a c-section.

June 2011, I was bowled over by what I am assuming was post-tramatic stress -- that got me so bad I almost couldn't get out of bed. (If I didn't have a baby to take care of, I wouldn't have.)

June 2012 I was pregnant and facing another due date and Jasmine's birthday was extremely emotional for me. I felt really guilty for having such a personal vested interest in a day that was actually hers to celebrate.

I'm hoping, after Ruby's VBAC birth, that June 2013 will be an easy going month of emotions -- in terms of birth-stuff-flash-backs, anyway.

I think I feel good about things now. I'm sure because of the VBAC, but also just because its been 3 years now.

But I got a little nervous today when I saw it was June. The last two years the emotions came on as a surprise and almost in a tangible way. They didn't feel like emotions I've had outside of a trauma -- they were really unique and I didn't know how to cope.

So if you would be so kind, would you please pray that this June would not sneak attack me.

I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!