I'm starting to feel kinda big, which sorta worries me for later. Hmm.
But I asked the midwife if belly size is indicator for baby size and she said no. So I can stop looking in the mirror now. (Yeah like that's gonna happen.)
This week I've also started to kinda dread the post-baby belly. They say you come home from the hospital looking about 5 months pregnant and I'm getting really close to that, so it's hard not to jump ahead mentally. (And just to be clear, I KNOW I came home looking a lot bigger than that last time.)
I know, I know! I said that I was not gonna do that whole vain girly thing this time and just enjoy this pregnancy. But it's been hard not to get stuck remembering how hard I worked last time to lose weight and not freak out about having to do that all again.
Although... I constantly try to remind myself that last time I was working to lose MORE than the pregnancy weight, so it won't be the same huge crazy long effort this time.
And I try to remind myself that I know the belly goes away. And I know about how long it takes. So it shouldn't be as unnerving as last time.
Physically:
I'd say I feel pretty darn good... couple headaches, some "relaxin hips," but nothing bad. If I weren't packing up a whole house, trying to keep it show-ready for potential buyers, and helping a husband get a PhD done, I'd feel awesome. As is, I'm kinda spent. But not from being pregnant.
This is my "let me try and show you how tired I feel because of all this moving stuff" face.
After trying to look tired in that last photo, we stopped and I went through all the photos.
And I saw this one.
Wow. That smile is not hiding the exhausted one bit!
Yep, I'm spent!
Food:
Really lovin me some cocoa-powder-mixed-in-milk.
Tried V-8 this week (cause I read someone's blog about their pregnancy and she mentioned drinking that and it sounded healthy.) And in the past I haven't been able to swallow the stuff---I thought it was disgusting! But this baby loves tomato anything---so I think it's yummy now! Crazy. But hey, it's a super healthful thing---so Yay!
Other than that, I'm not super thrilled with my diet because we are just eating whatever is easy to survive at this point, so I've been eating less than great. Not terrible. Not over eating. But not really as nutritious as I would like to be. I gained two pounds this week, instead of one. So that annoys me! But overall (need big picture eyes!) I'm still on track for a healthy end weight.
Just one more week till we are moved, so after that I'm not gonna have the excuses of my life being a total mess! :) I hope to kick it back into healthy gear.
Baby:
As soon as I learned about the placenta being in front and blocking a lot of the sensations, I started to feel her move a lot more. It's probably due to the fact that now understand the "softened blows" feeling, and know what to feel for. And yeah, she does like to move! (As we clearly saw at our sonogram.)
Also, I forgot to mention in my sonogram post that they sized her at 17 weeks when I was 18 weeks.
I was charting when we got pregnant, so I'm pretty positive I am 18 weeks still. But I love that they said she's sized at 17 weeks because (depending on my new provider's approval) that will give me until July 4th to actually be considered "due." And with my last experience of J trying to stay in until she could graduate from college, I want the latest due date possible so no one tries to cut me open before I can go into labor. Also, pretty happy to think that (fingers crossed) maybe this baby will be smaller!! (J measured exactly to my charting due date at our sonogram.) Like I've mentioned millions of times, I am doing my darnedest to have a less-than 9 lb baby this time!! (Which means, super tiny amounts of sugar and as healthy as I can muster eating.)
Feeling:
Mostly consumed by moving. One week from now I will live in Iowa. That's just crazy.
I've definitely panicked over getting the house packed. But on Monday my lovely friend came over and basically packed my kitchen for me! That was so awesome of her. And I'm really glad we tackled the kitchen because that was the room I was most intimidated by. If she hadn't come over I might still be in a total panic mode!
And today another lovely friend watched J for me so I could clean the house for a prospective buyer visit. That was awesome of her. Because seriously today was just about the hardest day so far in a marathon of hard days... with needing to get like 8 million things done, with Blake being super stressed over getting his stuff done, and with me having zero wind left in my sails. But the day has ended well, with things on all fronts looking like clear sailing.
And my mom is gonna come down and stay with us while Blake is away. So I think I will actually get this house packed up!!
I don't feel like I'm standing in a lot of faith. But I have my "ok God" face on.
I've been in the face of something much harder, and had to say Ok. And He brought me through.
This time, I have no physical strength to even really feel my emotions. So I am kind of emotionlessly just acknowledging that He's got this. And so far, He really has.
It's just hard to remember when hard days get even harder, when they get covered in toddler puke.
But I really appreciate His closeness, regardless of my ability to romanticize it right now. (Some day I will look back on it with more feeling... I'll probably be sleeping more at that point in my life! :) )
Love in the midst of Life
J:
Umm I say this every week. But she just gets cuter!
She's getting conversational now.
The conversations are kinda one sided since she mainly repeats what I say, but if I say conversational things, it feels like real girl to girl chats. I love it! :)
But she loves to talk now.
If there is a reason to say a word, she will say a word.
She loves to say "Hi Momma" "Hi Daddy" as much as possible. If she turns around for one second, and turns back towards you, that's a good enough reason to say "Hi" or even a full "Hello!"
She's been teething her canine teeth (wait that's the word for those teeth right? It feels wrong to say.) So she's been a little bit moody and very clingy (which is tricky for packing) but seriously for teething, she's pretty chill. (She's been a really good teether her whole life.)
I tried making her some homemade rice milk this week and it's been a mixed review from her. At some points she chugs it, and at others she cries about it. My recipe needs to be tweaked to try and match the store stuff better. But tonight I learned that it had been clogging up one of her usual sippy cups (it's a bit thicker than store stuff and the cup has very small holes for liquid), so that was what some of the tears were from. Makes more sense.
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